Television, movies, music, and all forms of popular media are saturated with the theme of love. People talk of love all the time. Some people meet for the first time and experience "love at first sight", while others are friends for long stretches of time before suddenly noticing one another and playing with the idea of dating and falling in love. Love is tied into all aspects of life.
However, love is not the same everywhere. Sometimes love is fleeting; sometimes it lasts a lifetime. Sometimes love comes without even desiring it. Unbeknownst to many, there are different kinds of love.
The Greeks had four different words for the word "love". First is philia. Philia is the love that is shared between siblings, or friends. Second is agape, or a love regardless of whether the giver likes the person he/she is loving or not. Third is eros, or erotic love. This is the passionate, romantic, sexual love that is glorified on the television screen and radio. Finally, there is storge, the love between a parent and child.
When it comes to a marriage relationship, a person may ask what the best kind or combination of the four kinds of love should be manifest. Many times, people mistakenly think that eros, or romantic love is all a couple needs. That is the idea the entertainment industry touts. Unfortunately, eros, or passionate love, is fleeting, coming and going like the wind. People use the word "infatuation" to describe the feeling of passionate love. However, when one person gets bored or struggles come, those that base their marriage relationship on passionate love will fall apart.
Thus, the best kind of love a married couple should have in reality should be a combination of the four. Passionate love is important and can make the relationship exciting, but as stated, without the other three, passionate love is not enough. Marriage must have a large amount of agape love, sometimes referred to as charity, because there will be many times when marriage partners will not see eye to eye, but they must and will love one another even when they do not like one another. Marriage must have a good amount of philia, or friendship love. Marriage partners that have a strong friendship and are able to maintain that friendship throughout their lives will be happier and will be better able to share an emotionally intimate relationship with one another. Husbands and wives rate having a strong friendship as a major component in maintaining a more satisfying sex life. Finally, storge love should be present, not in the same way a parent loves a child, but in the almost obligation they feel to love one another no matter what the other person does. Loving one another unconditionally allows spouses to flourish and depend on one another, each person knowing that they will always have someone there to love and support them. A healthy combination will help marriages prosper.
Love is more complex and beautiful than the popular media portrays. Love is not just a fleeting moment, nor simply a feeling. Love is something that is cherished, nurtured, and worked on. Loving someone is not always easy, but can bring the greatest satisfaction to life and marriage.
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